resolution to succeed is more important than any other.
- Abraham Lincoln
Kum thar zâta thutiem thar nei le bawsiet hi ei inthuruolna tak a ni ka ring. Intiemhai lai hin chi hnih ei um: chu chu kha kha thaw ta lo ding ti pawl le chu chu kha kha thaw ding ti pawl. A hmasahai hi thil ching thra naw bansan tum pawl an ni a; a nuhnunghai hi hmathlir neia bawzui tum pawl an nih. An thil tum sukhlawtling dan ruok chu kong khat charh a um: a tak ngeia thaw. Johanin thu chu taksaa inchangtir a ni thu a hril ang kha a nih. Formula dang a um nawh.
Kum 1976-80 inkara Nairobi-a First Secretary ka ni laia kan High Commissioner nuhnung lem chu Kashmiri pandit an tihai laia mi A.N.D Haksar, IFS (1957 batch) a nih. Pa fel, taima, hlim thei, hawp le hmuom ngaina, mi thiem, Sanskrit scholar le translator ni bok, pa zalen le pawl inhoi a nih. Kashmiri pandit (Brahmin) an ti Nehru, Kaul, Haksar, Raina, Dhar, Kher le a dang danghai hi an thlatua inthoka mi bul le hrietna hauh an lo ni tlangpui leiin an zauin an inril a, pawl an inhoi a, anni lakah inchuk ding a tam. Haksar hi ka neka kum ruka upa, sarvis tieng ruok chu kum 13-a siniar lem a nia chu ruolcham ang charin kan inpawl a, ka ta dinga inchukna sikul ropui tak a nih.
Kum thar zat hin, daktor-hai thurawn ngaisakin, hawp le hmuom suktlawm an naw leh nghei dingin thutiem a nei hlak a. Kum 1978 khom khan January le February chen khan chuh nasa takin hawp le hmuom a’n sŭm a. Ni tin hin voi iemani zat a pindanah sin thawin a dawkan kan kil hlak a. Chuong lai chu hawp ka thaw nasat lai, ni tin tluon sawmruk vel ka raw hmui hem hem hun lai, ka kuta ziel ka chepna kutchal le kutlai inkar khom a ur duk ham hun a nih. Hawihawm thilah, ziel ka hawp ding zatin, trong loin, kut zaizirin ka thrè hlak a. A lak ding zatin, “Keivom, you are a devil to me” a ti zie a. Keiin, “You are most welcome, Sir” tiin ka don zie bok a. March thla khan chuh rêl lu ang cham cham a ni nawk tah.
Khang hun laia ka sin chel chu sumdawngna tieng (commercial post) a ni bakah hmunpuia Nairobi nei United Nations Environment Programme (UNEP) le United Nations Human Settlement Programme (UN-Habitat) le UNO le inzom thil hrim hrim enkol a ni a. Sin rik chu hril lo, ni tin deuthaw, sun le zana fe suokna ding lunch le dinner a tam a, hawp le hmuomin chawl a nei naw a ni tak. Hun awl ka nei po po hlak lekha zieknan ka hmang naw chun ka lekhabu buotsai lai ‘Hmar Hlai Suina’ ka puitling naw el ding a ni bok si. Khang hun lai khan, ziel voi khat voi hnih hang pak veng veng naw chun ngaituona a dîng thei nawa ngaina a um bok. Ziel a tam lem chu hawp loa ashtray-a kang ral zo a nih. Thil hi doklak tah chun ngaituo loin kutin a lo ban el hlak a nih.
March 13, 1978 Thawtranni tuk ka zing tho chu ka phakin ka rik bŭr el a. Zan khawvar deuthawa typewriter leh thrunga ziel hawp ka ni leiin ka lei khomin thil inhnikna a hriet mumal nawh. Kan khum pindana darthlalang lien tak hmaa chun ka ngir a. “Nang hi Hrangthatfieng le Khawtinhnieng hai naupa kha i ni naw maw? Kha hma khan hawp le hmuom i thaw ngai naw a, i hlim a, thu le hla tam tak ser suokin hlawtling takin career i suol suok a. Tu hin iengti zie che, hawp le hmuom bawia i hang lut el chu? I Eden huon, i nun enkol sin hi tu mawphurna am a na? I ditthlangnaa innghat an naw maw?” tiin kei le kei ka’n khiksaw a. Chu nia inthok chun kum khat sung chu ziel hawp chawl a, beer le uoiin chauh tlawmte dawn a, kum khat invoi pha nuom leh sunzom nawk ding ti chu ka thu tlukna a nih.
Mi tam tak chun ziel an ngheiin a bawm dam an pei hmang a. Kei ruok chu ka fena taphotah a mamawhai thrè dingin ka chawi a, ka in le ofis-ah meitawk (lighter) leh ka sie zing bok. Ziel chu ziel a ni a, ka ban naw chun ama le ama ka bauah a hung inrol lut thei naw ding a nih ti ka hriet chieng. Ziel amanih zu amani chu thil an ni ve el a, ka kuta ka ban naw chun keimaah ieng khom hung thaw thei an nei nawh. Anni khuokhirh an ngai nawh. Ban ka nuomna lungril, keimaa châkna um kha a nih thunun ngai chuh. Thil khap ei ti hih ei suklal chauh a nih. Eden tonhrietah a chieng.
Chu ni chun ni dang ang bokin High Commissioner pindana chun sin lak dan ding hril tlang dingin ka lut a. Ka thaw dan pangngaiin ziel ka thre a, inhnikti takin a hawp hem hem a. Ka hawp ve nawh ti a hriet thut a, ka ziel a bo tah lei a ni ringin ama ziel a mi hung thre a. Kei chun, “Pu, ka lawm. Kum khat sung chu hawp lo dingin thu tlukna ka siem a nih” ka ta. Maktiin a meng phawk a. “Ziel i mi thre a, ka thaw dan pangngaiin ka hawp nawk der tah a. I mi hang ngheisan el chu, iengtin am i thaw bik?” a ta. Kei chun, “Pu, nang le kei ei inang nawna chu i tumruna ang ka nei phak naw lei a nih. Nghei i tumna nekin nghei lo i tumna lungril kha a’n rù lem a, kei chu a’n nèm lei a nih” (Sir, the difference between you and me is that you have a strong willpower not to give up whereas I have a weak one) tiin ka don a.
Ka donna chu mak a ti zuol a. “Chuong anga mi hril chu ka la hriet ngai der nawh” a ta. A san chu, nghei dinga intiema nghei thei si nawhai hin ‘tumruna’ (willpower) an tlaksam leia ngaina mihaiin an nei ang bokin anni khomin inngaina an nei a, chu chun mani insiehnuoina le inhmusitna lungril (inferiority complex) a hring hlak lei a nih. Puhai kuoma mani inthununna tlasam zawnga hril neka tumruna inru lem a neizie zawnga hril chu ram palai thu vuok thlak dinga mawihnai lema ka ngai leia a letlinga ka hril a nih. Thu pangngai char hi ei hril dan zirin a deng dan a danglam daih thei. Pa pakhatin an pastor kuomah, “Pastor, ka trongtrai lai ziel hawp thei ka ti?” tiin an don a, “Thei lo e, trongtrai lai tu khomin ziel an hawp ngai nawh” tiin a don a. Hun dangah, “Pastor, ziel ka hawp lai Pathien be thei ka ti?” a ta, pastor chun, “Be thei e, ieng huna khom Pathien chu biek thei annawm” tiin a don thung. Thu pangngai char ni si, indon dan zirin a donna chu a letling char a ni thei.
A nih, mi tam takin ei thil ching thra lo nia ei hriet threnkhat sima thaw ta lo dingin thu ei intiem a, sienkhom ei sim tumna nekin ei thaw nuomna kha a hrat lem leiin ei hlawsam hlak a nih. Sungrila indona a nih. Ei thrangpui lem lemin hratna a chang hlak. Hi thila hin tuoldawi (neutral) ei ti hih a um thei nawh. Ching dan (habit) ei ti hih ei bănsan charin ei inthre a, ei băn song chun ei inthrè song a, ei thaw nawk charin ei inkop nawk el a nih. Pastor Thangngurin, “I sungah suol le thra an indo ta’m? I thrangpui lem lem chu ro khawmtu ning a tih” tia mawi taka hlaa a lo hril khah a nih. Ei ditthlangna ra seng a nih ei sik hlak.
Kum sawmnga chuong liem taa inthok khan ka thil thlir dan damten thlak ka tum a. Thil hi a naw zawng (negative) amanih inthim/innim (dark side) zawnga thlir loa a thra zawng (positive) le a hlimum tieng zawnga thlir ka tum trăl trâl a. Mi ei inhmupui ding chu mi thra, mi ditsaktu, ei ta dinga thrahnemngaitu anga ngai le a naw tienga mi suol, mi theidatu le ei sietna ding zongtu anga ei ngai hin ei inhmu hma khomin ei boruok ding a siem der thei a nih. Vuongnaa chuong hnunga la hang tri dam hi thil trangkai lo a ni leiin ka thaw pei ta nawh. Ei thei tawpa ei thaw bakah ei thaw thei khela mi thrangpuitu dinga Pathien kuta iengkim innghat hnung khoma la lungngai amanih lunginrim dam hi thil hlawk lo le trangkai lo a ni leiin ka bansan tah. Bu nghei a, phingtrâma trongtrai amanih sinthaw nekin a malsawmna khop tak le tlai taka fa le dawna Pathien chawibiek le a rongbawl ka thlang lem. Theida nekin ngaidam, inchemhar nekin inrem, thukhel nekin thudik hril le tran, lungngai nekin lungmuong, lungsen nekin lungdam, inhmŭr nekin hmêl hlim put ka thlang lem bok.
Kum hlui inthla zan le kum thar hmuok zan hin inri bung bunga chiri nekin, a tlawm takah darkar khat vel bek fienrielna hun, kum khat sunga ka nun hmang thlir letna le kum la hung dinga ka nun khal dan ding dawnkhawlna hun nei le hmang ka tum hrăm hrâm hlak. Mihriem hin hre zinga thilsuol ei thaw nekin ei hriet naw leia thilsuol ei thaw a tam lem el thei. Chu lei chun a nih Davida’n, “Sienkhom mani thaw suolhai chu, tuin am inman suok a ta? Suol inthup lakah mi hum rawh” (Sam 19:12) a lo ti khah. Hre zinga ei thil chinghai le thilsuol ei thawhai hi ditthlangna hmanga ei thaw le bawsiet a ni leiin a maw ei phur ding a na, ngaidam inhni kuoi vel hi a ‘pa’ naw thlak deuin ka hriet. Suol inthup (hidden faults) ruok hi chuh mi awkna dinga Setan chang kam rŭkah ngaiin, a mi lo awk palh a ni khoma ei ditthlangna thrang loa bawsietna changa inawkah insie inla, ngaidam inhni chu ei thaw ngei dingah ka ngai. Adam le Evi khom khan hre kar zinga an bawsiet a ni leiin an suonlam siem lei khan ngaidam an ni naw a, a maw an tuor a ni khah.
Dannaranin kum thar thutiem ei nei changa ei intiemna chu- chu chu kha kha thaw ta lo ding, bansan ding, nghei ding ti a ni deuh takin ka hriet. Thil thra chu chu kha kha thaw ding tia intiem chu ei vang pharh el thei. Isu ngeiin, thupek laia ropui tak pahninaa a hril (Mat 22:39), a taka mani anga khuo le venghai hmangai ti dam hi ei kum thar thutiem seng ni sien chu, a takin thaw bok inla chuh, ei khawvel danglam ngot a tih. Sienkhom, Pathien kuoma ei hni tak chu mani tranghma chauh ngaina thil deuh vong a nih. Kohran tak tak hi a zuolkai an ni el thei.
Kei ka trongtrai ve dan chuh, “Lalpa, hnuoia malsawmna tinreng i vurhai hi kum hmasa neka fa tam le dawn tam zuol thei ding le hriselna thra lem le hratna thahrui tam lem nei a, i rong nasa lema bawl thei ding le mihai ta dinga malsawmna ni zuol thei dinga mi thrangpui dingin ka hni che” ti hih a ni tlangpui. Chu chu kha kha thaw ta lo ding ti hih a thrat zing laiin, ei thilthaw hlak, a thra nawh ti ei hriet zing bansanna dingin kum thar kher nghak trûlin ka hriet nawh. Ni tin hi ni thar, darkar tin hi hun thar lawmum, Pathien lunginsietna lei lieu lieua thil thra thawna dinga ei dong thar pei a nih. Chu chu hre a, pom a, a hlutzie man chieng a, lawm nachang hre a, hmang thai mei mei loa thil thra thawna remchanga ei hmang chun sekhon tin, minit tin, darkar tin, ni tin, kar tin, thla tin le kum tin hin umzie thar nei a ta, a hrana New Year Resolution siem dinga kumpui linglet nghak ngai ta naw nih.
Tiemtuhai po po kum thar 2016 ditsakna chibai ka buk.
(January 2, 2016, Delhi)
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